~When Groundhog Day Gets Your Goat~

~From The Homemaker’s Hearth~

By Danielle Osgood

When Groundhog Day Gets Your Goat

If you are a stay at home mom, life can often feel like you are stuck in the movie “Groundhog Day”. You get up, the same time each day. You wash the same dishes each day. Fold the same laundry. Clean the same bathroom. Break up the same sibling squabbles. Have the same conversations with the little guys. Read the same stories. Answer the perpetual question of “Mamma, what are we going to do?” for the tenth time each day. I can never understand why, when your daily routine doesn’t vary that much, they feel the need to ask what comes next! It is usually times like this, when you think you can’t take anymore, that the dog finds herself a “striped kitty” in the woods and gets into the house while wearing her offensive badge of curiosity.

     I think it is fair to say that all parents struggle with parental anger at one time or another. I know I do. What are we to do about it? Well, I am right in the middle of the battle myself. I do not have all the answers. But, I would like to share what I do know, and hope it may encourage someone else.

     One time, (one of the many) I was lamenting to my husband how much I longed to be like the sweet, older Christian ladies who seemed to have an endless supply of patience and joy. Namely, my grandmother Charleen. My grandmother had 6 children. I have NEVER heard her speak ill of anyone, nor swear, or raise her voice. She is so calm, cool and collected. How do they do it? I wondered. It seems like such an unattainable goal, being able to not only “roll with the punches” but to do so with grace. I will never forget Joe’s response. “Maybe they were able to develop that character only after years of being “put through the wringer” with day to day challenges like you are dealing with.” WOW. Maybe that seems obvious to most. But for me, that hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe these ladies weren’t hiding some secret to the long lost art of patience. Maybe they were just like me. That gave me a little bit of hope-all was not lost!

     So here are some tips that I am using to help deal with the feelings of frustration:

1. Pray. Seriously. Pray.

2. Read the Word daily. You may think that you don’t have much time as a mother to read and pray very much during the day-I dare say that as a mother you cannot afford NOT to. Our job is difficult, draining, and to be taken seriously. We need the refreshment/encouragement/rebuke that can only be found through daily reading of God’s Word. If you have time to check your Facebook, email, whatever, then you have time for God’s Word.

3. Rotate toys. Kids get bored with the same stuff all the time. Switch it up once in a while by rotating the toys that are available to them.

4. Post a daily routine on your wall. Use pictures for non-readers. Kids like knowing what to expect.

5. Be diligent in correcting bad behavior as well as reinforcing good behavior. We have a glass jar of M&M’s on our counter. We call it the “blessing jar”. Our boys are 2 and 3. This works well at this age as a visual that obedience results in a blessing. (you’ve got to keep the concept simple at this age, don’t over complicate things!) I taped this verse to the jar: “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Ps. 34:8

6. Make sure they know the rules. We have simple, basic family rules. Be kind. Be gentle. No whining. Tell the truth. That’s it. We posted them on our wall, and even though he can’t read, our 3 year old has them memorized.

7. Memorize Scripture. Write out verses on index cards about patience, self control,etc. And stick them in your pocket. Refer to them throughout the day. Tape them above your sink to memorize while washing dishes. Hiding God’s Word in our hearts helps us not to give in to temptation: Ps. 119:11. Listed amongst the fruits of the Spirit(Gal. 5:22-23) are Joy, patience and self control. Get some Scripture memory CD’s to listen to them with the kids. Before you know it, you will all be singing along!

8. Persevere. When you are “in it”, it can feel like you are not getting anywhere. The kids continue to fight about the same things, every day.”Will they ever get it?” you ask yourself. It can seem like all your hard work never makes a difference. This can be very discouraging. I have found that these are the times when I am most likely to “lose it”. You spend nearly every waking moment (and some groggy, midnight moments!) pouring into your children and you see no fruit. This is when we are more apt to entertain thoughts of “why bother” and “this is pointless”. Maybe I’m the only one, but some days I really struggle to keep calm, be joyful and loving, and patient. It is exhausting! I remember a time, not long ago, I had just spent over an hour scrubbing our kitchen floor on my hands and knees. Then Jack(3) went to help himself to the fridge for a drink.(He is supposed to ask for help). He spilled a lot of sticky iced tea all over the inside of the fridge and the floor. I vividly remember how hard it was not to get angry. I nearly choked out the response “Jack, next time please ask for help.” He said in a cute voice”Oops, I’m sorry Mamma.” It melted my heart. Now, wasn’t that much better than yelling, which probably would have made him cry? I think so. Then one time Liam, our 2 year old randomly burst out singing “Rock of Ages”. And another time Jack started to recite Psalm 23. These moments took me by surprise. Just when I think my efforts are fruitless, wondering why I even get up in the morning, I get these little boosts of encouragement. They are listening. They are watching. So take heart, don’t give up. Don’t let “Groundhog Day” get your goat!

“Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever, Amen.” Hebrews 13:20-21